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Every person is a leader in the areas of what he or she considers to be of highest importance, priority, and value.

 

If you’re a family member of the second, third, or fourth generation or beyond and you have chosen to be the next person to take leadership and custody of the family’s philanthropic cause, put the stamp of your vision and mission on it.

 

For it to continue to grow like a snowball in terms of its influence and impact on mankind, you will be wise to consider the points listed below, but, most of all, make it the authentic expression of your vision and mission.

 

If you merely take over the dreams, vision, and mission of your predecessors, you will lose momentum and focus.

 

You are not called to take over.

 

You are called to create more and bigger with what was passed to you.

 

·         Learn from the successes and failures of your predecessors, but mostly learn from your own.

·         Put your own thumbprint on the family’s philanthropic cause. It is now your creation.

·         Honor what was done before you and honor what you’re adding and expanding.

·         Surround yourself with like-minded people you can brainstorm with and to whom you can delegate responsibility.

·         Remember the visionary—who is now you—needs people to help him or her execute and grow the philanthropic cause for altruistic and equally narcissistic reasons. The goal is as much to give you a meaning, purpose, fulfillment, and inspiration as it is to give meaning, purpose, fulfillment, and inspiration to the philanthropic accomplishments.

·         Make it your act of love and an act of service—marked by your unique expression of transformative service and uplifting energy—that becomes a physical expression to benefit those less privileged than you.

 

Every person has great self-worth and self-esteem; it might just be hidden a bit—or a lot.

 

If you have moments of self-doubt and you are uncertain about your ability to make an impact and have social influence, let me help you.

 

Book your personal power session today. +27 60 743 4143 / info@bellavida.co.za

 

 

We all have unfulfilled wishes and dreams. Some of us take action because the void becomes unbearable. And some of us don’t because perhaps we don’t believe we deserve to be happy or healthy or wealthy or we just don’t know where to start.

 

In her book Passing the Torch, recently published in the USA, Ilze Alberts writes that when individuals become truly frustrated with their circumstances and they know life can be better, creative forces enter the mind and innovation is born.

 

Says Ilze, “It’s the perception of emptiness, or a void, that becomes the driving force for a person to take some action or perform some service and gives it priority and importance. Without a perception of the void—the feeling that something is missing—people often will lack drive.

 

“From birth, our inabilities and discontentment assist us in our milestones. For a baby, the frustration of being immobile creates the desire for movement. For a young child, the frustration of not being comprehended creates the mastery of language. Whatever you perceive is missing in your life, you wish to have.”

 

Ilze gives the following examples of voids that get people to act:

·         Illness:When a person is sick and has ill health or injuries, health and physical

vitality become a priority of high value.

·         Knowledge: When a person perceives himself or herself to be dumb or ill informed, mental empowerment becomes a high value.

·         Loneliness: The man or woman with a perception of social isolation desires friendships and social networks.

·         Children: The person without a family or a couple without children often develop the desire for a family and having a family becomes a high priority.

·         Purpose: People without a vision and a life purpose seek meaning in their lives. When it’s time to choose a career or a vocation, the search for service and finding a vocational purpose becomes of high importance.

·         Poverty: The search for money and the absence of money can become a strong driving force and a high priority for the man or woman who perceive lack of wealth as creating pain, suffering, challenges, and feeling unsuccessful.

 

Says Ilze, “Whatever you perceive is most missing in your life becomes that one thing you seek. Whatever you’re seeking, you’re willing to spend your time on it without hesitation, and nobody has to remind you to attend to it. You’re thinking about it a lot and it dominates your thoughts.

 

“What becomes important to you, you wish to read about and learn about, and you have a hunger for knowledge about that topic. Anything you’re curious about and desire to know more about will prompt you to put in the time, energy, focus, and dedication to learn about

it,” Ilze concludes.

 

What will make you act to get what you most desire?

 

Are you willing to do the work to fill your void?

 

Book a session with Ilze today to start creating holistic wealth for you and your family. +27 60 743 4143/info@bellavida.co.za

 

Buy your copy of Passing the Torch now and discover how to build wealth that goes beyond three generations.

 

Learn more about Ilze’s services as psychologist and life strategist at www.bellavida.co.za

Wealth is defined as an abundance of valuable possessions or money, and a plentiful supply of a particular desirable thing. Ilze Alberts, psychologist and life strategist, believes that this is a very limited definition of this concept.

 

In her book Passing the Torch published by Wiley and Sons Inc. in Hoboken, New Jersey, USA, Ilze explains that wealth is much more than money or things. “A family that is truly wealthy demonstrates certain characteristics. For a family to be considered a high nett worth unit, there is no higher value in the balance sheet than human capital.”

 

According to Ilze, the following attributes make a family truly wealthy:  

 

1.      The talents, personalities, and genius of each family member. Each individual family member is an asset (and a liability) and each family member is a valuable source of knowledge, a potential contribution, and an inherent value because of the unique individuality.

2.      The family’s story.Every family has an origin and a history. The narrative of every family is unique, playing an important role in the development of society worldwide. The choices and decisions of your previous generations have a direct impact on your life right now. You come from their choices, decisions, and actions. Your choices, decisions, and actions will equally have an impact on the next generations for years, decades, centuries, millenniums.

3.      The mental abilities and exposure to education. Growing up in a family with the financial means to afford excellent education contributes to the advancement of the mental capital of the family. The different life experiences, exposure to global experiences through travel, and exposure to knowledge all contribute to wealth of the family’s mental capital.

4.      Emotional intelligence of the family. Families with exposure to wealth have more opportunities to develop their emotional intelligence simply because they can afford to pay for mental health services, personal life coaches, and programs and seminars that teach emotional intelligence. Money does not buy happiness, but money can buy many opportunities for self-development, empowerment, and emotional intelligence.

5.      Health and vitality. The more the members of a family feel of meaning in their lives, the higher the value they place on health and vitality, because the body is treated as the vehicle to take extraordinary service to the world.

6.      Social network and interactions. Family members build a network over their lifetimes. Like attracts like and the quality of friendships and social networks is a reflection of the endearing characteristics of the family. The lack of quality friendships equally reflects the lack of the family to build endearing friendships with significant people outside of the family bonds.

7.      A family’s financial wealth. Family wealth is built by a man (husband, father) or a woman (wife, mother) or by a man and a woman (husband, father and wife, mother) who perceive a big void in their financial well-being and therefore in the financial well-being of their family. This big void acts as the driving force and intrinsic motivation to build wealth for the family. The void, or absence of financial means, becomes the fuel in the family-wealth engine.

 

Says Ilze, “Acquiring knowledge, understanding human behavior, and being financially skilled and wise will be the three most important influences I can have on the next

generation’s lives.”

 

What legacy do you want to leave?

 

Where is your family lacking when it comes to creating true wealth?

 

Book a session with Ilze today to start creating holistic wealth for you and your family. +27 60 743 4143/info@bellavida.co.za

 

Buy your copy of Passing the Torch now and discover how to build wealth that goes beyond three generations.

 

 

Learn more about Ilze’s services as psychologist and life strategist at www.bellavida.co.za. 

Only 30 percent of family businesses built by one generation are passed on to their children, and only 10 percent of those businesses ever reach a third generation, according to studies.

 

Says Ilze Alberts, psychologist, life strategist and newly-published author, “One reason suggested is that the third generation doesn’t possess the same set of values, work ethic, and perspective because of their very different experience growing up.”

 

In her new book Passing the Torch – Preserving Family Wealth Beyond the Third Generation, Ilze explores why the proverbial saying From Shirtsleeves-to-Shirtsleeves in Three Generations ring true for many families. She also talks about how to prevent this from happening to you.

 

According to Ilze, the first generation struggles hard to rise above their current conditions to achieve a more comfortable life for themselves and their family. “They work hard, diligently save their money, and by their later years have something of value to pass on.

 

“Their children, the second generation, grow up as a witness to their parents’ struggle and understand the value of hard work. Although they now live a comfortable life, they can remember a childhood filled with frugality and perhaps even poverty. Because of this, they make educational and financial choices that help them build on what their parents created. By retirement, they have, most likely, acquired even greater wealth.

 

“The third generation, however, has no memory of want or struggle. They’ve only known a life of plenty.

 

“When the family wealth is passed onto them, they lack the values and skills necessary to maintain the health of the assets. If universal proverbs and small business statistics are to be believed, the third generation squanders the resources their parents and grandparents worked so hard to achieve. Thus, the three generations cycle.”

 

Ilze believes that it is the birth right of every family to be a powerful unit for generations to come. She helps families to break the “spell” and make sure they preserve family wealth beyond the third generation.

Buy your copy of Passing the Torch today at www.passingthetorch.co.za.Meld or www.bellavida.co.za. Book a session with Ilze info@bellavida.co.za to discuss how your family wealth will survive the third generation.

 

 

What do you wish for most in life? Most people will have a variation of the following answer: “I wish for happiness.” Even Aristotle said every man and woman is in pursuit of happiness.

 

But what if I tell you happiness is an illusion and pursuing happiness most often leads to perceptions of nightmares?

 

What if the elusive happiness can be found in a simple act like thanksgiving and gratitude?

 

Gratitude is a celebration, affirmation, and recognition of the good in life. It doesn’t mean ignoring the negative aspects of life; it’s about acknowledging the blessings you’re receiving.

 

These blessings are to be found in both the positive and the negative experiences in life, since the positive experiences make us rest in our growth and the negative experiences make us grow out of our rest. Gratitude is available to everyone, everywhere, any time.

 

Why does it work?

Gratitude amplifies, rescues, and connects, according to Robert A. Emmons, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of California (The Psychology of Gratitude, PPI conference in 2016).

 

The benefits of an attitude of gratitude include:

·         Gratefulness increases emotional well-being.

·         Grateful people achieve more.

·         Grateful people get along better with others.

·         Grateful people pay it forward.

·         Grateful people are less depressed.

·         Grateful people are more resilient to trauma.

 

Gratitude is good medicine. For those who exhibited gratitude, the following have been observed:

·         There is a reduction in perceived stress (28 percent) and depression (16 percent) in health care practitioners.

·         Levels of stress hormones, namely cortisol, are 23 percent lower.

·         Reduced feelings of hopelessness were noted in 88 percent of suicidal inpatients.

·         Grateful people have 15 to 18 percent more efficient sleep.

·         Improved inflammatory biomarkers were noted in heart failure patients.

·         Risk of depression fell by 41 percent over a six-month period.

·         Dietary fat intake reduced by 25 percent.

·         Arthritis and irritable bowel syndrome patients demonstrated 15 percent lower depression.

·         Physical exercise increased 25 to 33 percent.

Gratitude rescues us from anxiety, depression, helplessness, and hopelessness.

 

 

What are you grateful today?

If you want to create wealth for your family and extended family, you know how to treat your partner’s children.

Here are a few tips on how to handle this potentially thorny issue lovingly and constructively:

 

·         Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and look at your actions and responses toward your partner’s children. Does your partner look at you and feel loved and cared for in the way you treat these children, or does your partner look at you and feel resentment and disappointment in the way you treat the children?

·         Remember, you are the adult, and you are not in competition with the children. An adult’s love for another adult is completely different from an adult’s love for a child.

·         Work on becoming friends with the children. They already have parents and you cannot replace them.

·         If you discipline the children without having a relationship with them, they will resent you and reject you. Try to leave the discipline to the biological parent and refrain from being the wise parent who knows everything.

·         Curb your jealousy when your partner gives his or her children attention. Be realistic. Your partner’s interest and love for you is separate from the interest and love expressed to the children.

·         Allow your partner time with his or her children. They might not see each other on a daily basis (depending on custody rights).

·         Allow your partner to parent the children in their own way; give your advice caringly and realistically.

·         Acknowledge that your partner feels guilty toward his children for many reasons.

 

Do you battle to build a relationship with your stepchildren?

 

Then ask yourself the following question: Is this relationship important enough for me to put in the effort to integrate the children into my life—for a lifetime? If the answer is yes, then put in the effort.

 

Let me help you create a tight, powerful family unit.

 

 

Book a session with me today. 

Family retreats are some of the most important building blocks for your powerful family for generational impact. Relationships are strengthened and rekindled, inspiration is enhanced, and new insights and action plans are ignited.

 

Imagine your family in this setting: It’s a beautiful summer day and cars are busy arriving at the family estate. As every car comes to a stop, adults and children spill out. Excitement is in the air. Big hugs and smiles electrify the day.

 

This is your family, all arriving for the annual family retreat—the highlight of the family calendar and not to be missed by anyone. Everyone knew the date of the annual family retreat weekend a year in advance, and it was marked on everyone’s calendar as high priority.

 

Love is in the air

The atmosphere is one of love, acceptance, and anticipation.

 

The annual family retreats are an important ingredient in the well-being of the family as a whole.

 

This is the time when the family governance is revisited, the family stories are told and remembered, the family vision and mission is remembered and linked to everyone’s personal vision and mission, the family balance sheet is updated, and philanthropic outreach is expanded.

 

The meeting is inspiring and meaningful because everyone is reminded of the significant role they play in building this powerful family and how the sum is possible only because of the many parts.

 

The human capital, mental capital, and financial capital of the family are revisited, the family balance sheet is revisited and updated, and plans and action steps for the following year are decided.

 

Are you thinking of planning a family retreat for your powerful family?

 

Need help? Speak to me today info@bellavida.co.za / +27 60 7434143

 

 

All marriages have their ups and downs.

When you’re in a good period in your marriage, you usually think it’s great to be married and you feel you’re one of the lucky ones who will “live happily ever after.” If you are in a bad spell in your marriage, you easily feel your life is a nightmare and you wish you could change your partner. Most people wish to be married and certainly wish for a happy and successful marriage.

 

Here are the 8 key guidelines I believe lead to a successful marriage.

 

1.       Love Your Partner for Who He or She Is: Everybody wants to be loved for who they are and nobody wants to be criticized for who they are.

 

2.       Plant Flowers in Your Mind about Your Partner:Your mind is a powerful tool you can use, but an ungoverned mind becomes a weapon of destruction.

 

3.       Understand What Drives Your Partner:Opposites attract, and what drives your partner will most likely be something that does not really drive you.

 

4.       Be Best Friends and Have Each Other’s Back: There is nobody you like as much as your partner; otherwise, you wouldn’t have chosen to marry and create a life together.

 

5.       Develop a Healthy Intimate Life:Intimacy is the cement of a relationship—as long as it’s seen only as one important part, rather than the only important part.

 

6.       Create Surprises and Fight Complacency:If you know what your partner likes, surprise them unexpectedly with a love gift, even if it’s only a favorite chocolate.

 

7.       Have Realistic Expectations:Know your partner, love your partner, and appreciate your partner.

 

8.       Do Life Together:Do things together and separately, give each other special and focused time and keep some time for yourself and your interest and priorities.

 

Is your marriage going through a bad patch? Let’s talk about it!

 

Book a session info@bellavida.co.za with me today.

 

 

 

A family is the place where you have the right of belonging—simply through your birth right.

 

The most important assets a family has are the family members, the human capital. Nothing is more important than the people—the men, women, and children that form a family.

 

The most important human capital investment a person can make is to invest in her or himself. Your greatest asset is yourself.

 

The second greatest human capital investment a person can make is in family relationships, both the members you have blood bonds with and the members with whom you share bonds of affinity.

 

“Through my years of serving families as a family-focused psychologist and a family behavioral strategist, I’ve come to the several conclusions about ways to relate to family members,” says Ilze Alberts, newly-published author. In her book Passing the Torch, she writes that you can build powerful and strong family relationships in the following ways:

 

1.       Understand how to make relationships work and apply human behavioral skills.

 

2.       Remember that judgment and criticism are unwise.

 

3.       Keep on studying how to build strong family relationships for lasting generations.

 

Says Ilze, “Building strong and caring relationships takes time, effort, energy, wisdom, and love. It does not happen by itself; it follows a burning desire to have a great, strong, and caring family with strong relationships. Hold this as the vision for your family and expect nothing else but this for your family.”

 

Is it your wish to invest in yourself and your family?

 

Book info@bellavida.co.za a session with Ilze today.

 

 

Buy her book at info@bellavida.co.za /Amazon (Hardcover or Kindle edition)

If you were born with the proverbial “golden spoon in your mouth”, you are one of the few fortunate ones on earth.

However, this precious gift comes with responsibility. To show your gratitude and give back to your family for the extraordinary opportunities for your education, health, and physical well-being, social connections, access to money, and access to the best of the best for personal development, you must pass the torch as a financial leader.

 

I believe financial leaders show the following traits:

 

1.       They place high value, importance, and priority on creating and growing wealth.

 

2.       They dedicate their lives to growing the perpetual motion of the family snowball of wealth.

 

3.       They have a purpose and reason for creating and growing wealth for the family purse far beyond the accumulation of luxuries and material possessions.

 

4.       They have wisdom of wealth, and they study the work of other wealth creators from before and now.

 

5.       They have specific and well-defined goals and actions steps to execute their goals.

 

6.       They have a burning desire to leave a legacy and to make a lasting impact through their dedication to create and grow wealth.

 

7.       They have a deep sense of gratitude for what they have and they live with grace and thankfulness.

 

8.       They have financial knowledge and focus.

 

In my new book Passing the Torch – Preserving Family Wealth Beyond the Third Generation, I discuss the characteristics of a Wealth Creator Extraordinaire in greater detail. Order directly info@bellavida.co.za/Amazon (Hardcover or Kindle edition)

 

If you inherited great wealth and want to pass the torch but are not sure how, book a session info@bellavida.co.za with me. I help families build wealth for generations to come.