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First generation business owners – this is for you!

Are you the one who will be passing the torch to the next generation?

Firstly, congratulations on what you’ve achieved in your lifetime.

Secondly, the hardest thing is to let go and allow others, maybe even some who are better and smarter than you, to take over what you’ve been building over many years. You might even be concerned that you’re passing the torch to family members you believe are less intelligent and ill equipped to take over, but because they’re family and you feel responsible, you know the torch will be passed to them.

 

I believe it’s the desire of every parent to create an extraordinary life for their children. We want to give them more than what we perceived we had, and we want to make life easy and happy for our offspring.

 

BUT

As Khalil Gibran, Lebanese American writer, poet and visual artist, wrote in his poem from The Prophet:

Your children are not your children. 

 

It is the responsibility of every generation of parents to accept and appreciate the following:

 

·         Every child born in your family is an individual and not an extension of any parent.

·         Parents must be acutely aware of the danger and trap of living vicariously through their children.

·         No child is born to live the dreams and goals of a parent. Every person is born to live his or her own dreams.

·         Every person is born with his or her own unique purpose and mission. No person is born to fulfil the purpose and mission of another person, even if the other person is a beloved parent.

·         The gift of love parents can give to their children is copious amounts of freedom to express and be themselves authentically, without conditions.

 

The love and expectations a parent can have of their children can sometimes get mixed up. This is where I can help.

 

As a psychologist and life strategist, I help grandparents, parents, and children to each life their own life and pass the torch as the same time.

 

Book a session with me today info@bellavida.co.za

 

 

In my book Passing the Torch, I write about How to be a Great Businessperson and much more.  

You are not exempt from universal laws

Universal laws govern everything in the universe. They apply to man, nature, and beast.

Irrespective of your intelligence, your bank account, your health, your influence, or your life purpose, you’re falling under the same universal rules as everyone else.

 

Ilze Alberts, psychologist, life strategist, and author writes in her new book Passing the Torch , “People who go through life without acknowledging universal laws or applying universal principles are people who journey through life blindfolded and cut off from the beautiful song of life itself.”

 

Says Ilze, “The moral of the story is everything has opposites; otherwise, we would not know that it exists. Everything has duality; everything has one side and an opposite side. Without duality we would not know, experience, or even exist! For example, pain and pleasure, losses and gains, and happiness and sadness.”

 

Human experience is governed by, amongst other, these principles:

 

·         Everything that happens to you is a balanced event, no matter whether it’s pleasurable or painful.

·         Every experience and every event has both positive and negative sides equally.

·         You are never without anything. It just might not exist in the form you wish.

·         For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction (Newton’s third law).

 

“When you understand the laws of the universe, you become the master of your destiny and not the victim of your history. By doing this, you take off your blindfold and see the beauty of your life.”

 

If you battle to make sense of events in your life, book your session with Ilze info@bellavida.co.za today. She will help you gain clarity and certainty.

 

Buy Passing the Torch info@bellavida.co.za /Amazon (Hard cover and Kindle edition) and learn more about the laws of the universe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you mentally empowered?

We all have a choice of how to use the power of our mind.

 

We can either use our mind carelessly and without much thought, which most likely will make us behave like a fool. Or we can use our mind with care and tap into the mental genius, or leadership, that’s available to all who strive for it.

 

Ilze Alberts, psychologist, life strategist and author, utters these wise words in her book Passing the Torch

 

“I firmly believe that the more we educate ourselves about the power of our minds, the more we can tap into that power.”

 

She describes a mentally-empowered person as:

 

·         Someone who sees every person they meet as a mirror of themselves. Whatever you see in another person, you have it in yourself, whether you see it or not.

·         Humble. An attitude of humility will take a person much further because you open yourself up to being teachable, to learning from other people and tapping into the wisdom of people you consider role models and examples of you.

·         Self-reliant and independent. When you embody these characteristics, you have the ability and freedom to live your authentic life, with dedicated action steps toward your dream or goals.

·         A person who is emotionally intelligent and has insight into human behaviour. You don’t need to become a psychologist to understand human behaviour. Anyone can study it and develop a basic understanding of why people act and react the way they do.

·         Someone who has a desire to read and learn. Mentally-empowered people fill their minds with knowledge and information.

 

“I always advise my client to use affirmations, or words of power, to unlock their mental genius. Our words have power and can sentence us to life or death.

 

“Remember, you plant the mental seeds. Your generational impact is the soothing shade under which those following you can sit.”

 

Are you ready to use the power of your mind to create your future? But do you battle to get rid of negative thinking and old beliefs?

 

Book a session with Ilze today info@bellavida.co.za

 

Invest in her book info@bellavida.co.za / Amazon (Hard cover or Kindle edition) to unlock your genius.

 

 

 

Three secrets to unlock riches

Families that create wealth adopt important mindsets and life-long habits. These eventually become part of the family’s DNA, which help them build riches beyond the third generation.

Passing the Torch, Ilze Alberts’ new book, contains the secrets to the practices that successful families adopt to break the spell of the From Shirtsleeves-to-Shirtsleeves in Three Generations proverb.

“As one of my highest values is sharing knowledge, I would like to let you in on a few habits that will help you generate, preserve, and pass on a legacy that will stand the test of time,” says Ilze.

Here are three mindsets that wealthy families cultivate

1.       Vision: They hold the vision of why they want to create wealth for their family. The desire to grow and create wealth to buy more things is not a good enough reason,

although wealth does make it possible to buy more things. A bigger reason makes it more worthwhile.

2.       Strategy: Strategies build wealth. Set your attention on it, spend your energy on it, read and learn about it, talk about it, think about it, and be inspired about it.

3.       Manage your emotions: Feelings of guilt, fear, shame, and uncertainty are not the feelings of a wealth creator for the family. Instead, they develop the skill to make swift decisions with certainty and listen to their own genius inner voice.

 

To unlock the other three mindsets and habits that you need to adopt to create wealth for your family and their family and beyond, get Ilze’s book here. info@bellavida.co.za /Amazon(Hard cover or Kindle edition)

You can also book a session with Ilze to let her help you create a vision and a strategy Info@bellavida.co.za

 

 

What’s missing in your life?

We all have unfulfilled wishes and dreams. Some of us take action because the void becomes unbearable. And some of us don’t because perhaps we don’t believe we deserve to be happy or healthy or wealthy or we just don’t know where to start.

 

In her book Passing the Torch, recently published in the USA, Ilze Alberts writes that when individuals become truly frustrated with their circumstances and they know life can be better, creative forces enter the mind and innovation is born.

 

Says Ilze, “It’s the perception of emptiness, or a void, that becomes the driving force for a person to take some action or perform some service and gives it priority and importance. Without a perception of the void—the feeling that something is missing—people often will lack drive.

 

“From birth, our inabilities and discontentment assist us in our milestones. For a baby, the frustration of being immobile creates the desire for movement. For a young child, the frustration of not being comprehended creates the mastery of language. Whatever you perceive is missing in your life, you wish to have.”

 

Ilze gives the following examples of voids that get people to act:

·         Illness:When a person is sick and has ill health or injuries, health and physical

vitality become a priority of high value.

·         Knowledge: When a person perceives himself or herself to be dumb or ill informed, mental empowerment becomes a high value.

·         Loneliness: The man or woman with a perception of social isolation desires friendships and social networks.

·         Children: The person without a family or a couple without children often develop the desire for a family and having a family becomes a high priority.

·         Purpose: People without a vision and a life purpose seek meaning in their lives. When it’s time to choose a career or a vocation, the search for service and finding a vocational purpose becomes of high importance.

·         Poverty: The search for money and the absence of money can become a strong driving force and a high priority for the man or woman who perceive lack of wealth as creating pain, suffering, challenges, and feeling unsuccessful.

 

Says Ilze, “Whatever you perceive is most missing in your life becomes that one thing you seek. Whatever you’re seeking, you’re willing to spend your time on it without hesitation, and nobody has to remind you to attend to it. You’re thinking about it a lot and it dominates your thoughts.

 

“What becomes important to you, you wish to read about and learn about, and you have a hunger for knowledge about that topic. Anything you’re curious about and desire to know more about will prompt you to put in the time, energy, focus, and dedication to learn about

it,” Ilze concludes.

 

What will make you act to get what you most desire?

 

Are you willing to do the work to fill your void?

 

Book a session info@bellavida.co.za with Ilze today to start creating holistic wealth for you and your family.

 

Buy your copy of Passing the Torch info@bellavida.co.za /Amazon(Hardcover or Kindle edition) now and discover how to build wealth that goes beyond three generations.

 

Learn more about Ilze’s services as psychologist and life strategist at www.bellavida.co.za

Wealthy families have these 7 superb qualities

Wealth is defined as an abundance of valuable possessions or money, and a plentiful supply of a particular desirable thing. Ilze Alberts, psychologist and life strategist, believes that this is a very limited definition of this concept.

 

In her book Passing the Torch published by Wiley and Sons Inc. in Hoboken, New Jersey, USA, Ilze explains that wealth is much more than money or things. “A family that is truly wealthy demonstrates certain characteristics. For a family to be considered a high nett worth unit, there is no higher value in the balance sheet than human capital.”

 

According to Ilze, the following attributes make a family truly wealthy:  

 

1.      The talents, personalities, and genius of each family member. Each individual family member is an asset (and a liability) and each family member is a valuable source of knowledge, a potential contribution, and an inherent value because of the unique individuality.

2.      The family’s story.Every family has an origin and a history. The narrative of every family is unique, playing an important role in the development of society worldwide. The choices and decisions of your previous generations have a direct impact on your life right now. You come from their choices, decisions, and actions. Your choices, decisions, and actions will equally have an impact on the next generations for years, decades, centuries, millenniums.

3.      The mental abilities and exposure to education. Growing up in a family with the financial means to afford excellent education contributes to the advancement of the mental capital of the family. The different life experiences, exposure to global experiences through travel, and exposure to knowledge all contribute to wealth of the family’s mental capital.

4.      Emotional intelligence of the family. Families with exposure to wealth have more opportunities to develop their emotional intelligence simply because they can afford to pay for mental health services, personal life coaches, and programs and seminars that teach emotional intelligence. Money does not buy happiness, but money can buy many opportunities for self-development, empowerment, and emotional intelligence.

5.      Health and vitality. The more the members of a family feel of meaning in their lives, the higher the value they place on health and vitality, because the body is treated as the vehicle to take extraordinary service to the world.

6.      Social network and interactions. Family members build a network over their lifetimes. Like attracts like and the quality of friendships and social networks is a reflection of the endearing characteristics of the family. The lack of quality friendships equally reflects the lack of the family to build endearing friendships with significant people outside of the family bonds.

7.      A family’s financial wealth. Family wealth is built by a man (husband, father) or a woman (wife, mother) or by a man and a woman (husband, father and wife, mother) who perceive a big void in their financial well-being and therefore in the financial well-being of their family. This big void acts as the driving force and intrinsic motivation to build wealth for the family. The void, or absence of financial means, becomes the fuel in the family-wealth engine.

 

Says Ilze, “Acquiring knowledge, understanding human behavior, and being financially skilled and wise will be the three most important influences I can have on the next

generation’s lives.”

 

What legacy do you want to leave?

 

Where is your family lacking when it comes to creating true wealth?

 

Book a session info@bellavida.co.za with Ilze today to start creating holistic wealth for you and your family.

 

Buy your copy of Passing the Torch directly info@bellavida.co.za /Amazon(Hardcover or Kindle) now and discover how to build wealth that goes beyond three generations.

 

 

Learn more about Ilze’s services as psychologist and life strategist at www.bellavida.co.za

Survive your third generation

Survive your third generation

Only 30 percent of family businesses built by one generation are passed on to their children, and only 10 percent of those businesses ever reach a third generation, according to studies.

 

Says Ilze Alberts, psychologist, life strategist and newly-published author, “One reason suggested is that the third generation doesn’t possess the same set of values, work ethic, and perspective because of their very different experience growing up.”

 

In her new book Passing the Torch – Preserving Family Wealth Beyond the Third Generation, Ilze explores why the proverbial saying From Shirtsleeves-to-Shirtsleeves in Three Generations ring true for many families. She also talks about how to prevent this from happening to you.

 

According to Ilze, the first generation struggles hard to rise above their current conditions to achieve a more comfortable life for themselves and their family. “They work hard, diligently save their money, and by their later years have something of value to pass on.

 

“Their children, the second generation, grow up as a witness to their parents’ struggle and understand the value of hard work. Although they now live a comfortable life, they can remember a childhood filled with frugality and perhaps even poverty. Because of this, they make educational and financial choices that help them build on what their parents created. By retirement, they have, most likely, acquired even greater wealth.

 

“The third generation, however, has no memory of want or struggle. They’ve only known a life of plenty.

 

“When the family wealth is passed onto them, they lack the values and skills necessary to maintain the health of the assets. If universal proverbs and small business statistics are to be believed, the third generation squanders the resources their parents and grandparents worked so hard to achieve. Thus, the three generations cycle.”

 

Ilze believes that it is the birth right of every family to be a powerful unit for generations to come. She helps families to break the “spell” and make sure they preserve family wealth beyond the third generation.

Buy your copy of Passing the Torch today at www.passingthetorch.co.za.Meld or www.bellavida.co.za.

Book a session with Ilze info@bellavida.co.za to discuss how your family wealth will survive the third generation. 

Purposeful Trust: Put the Heart in your Family Trust

Ilze

What will your decision be about creating a trust for your family if you knew beforehand that 80% of beneficiaries of trusts perceive the trust not a blessing but a burden? Will you still create the trust for your family? James Hughes, author of “Family Trusts” says he observes an important demographic trend however – the use of trusts continues to increase, not just for transfer tax planning, but also for asset protection, reasons of probate and above all, for control. Among professionals it is a well-known fact that by the third generation of a family, around 90% of its financial wealth will likely be held in trust. Since 80% of beneficiaries declare trusts to be a burden and 90% of a dynastic family’s financial wealth is in or will be in trust by the third generation, it underscores the importance of ensuring the family flourishes and not disappear into entropy by making the trusts a blessing.

I wish to expose you the reader to the mindset and potential to hold a vision for your family for seven generations, if you wish to. Why seven generations you most likely will ask. If you hold a vision for your family and you wish to transform the proverb “shirtsleeve to shirtsleeve” or “rice paddy to rice paddy” * for your family for seven generations, it means you are holding the vision for your family to transform the proverb for two times three generations and by the seventh generation the family culture and mindset have been embedded in holding a long-term vision of being a family where every family member has the right and privilege to live lives of fulfillment, meaning, purpose and inspiration, all made possible by the financial wellbeing of the family as a whole.

I want to introduce you to a new way of looking at your family trust(s) – how about creating your trust with a heartfelt purpose and create or transform it to a purposeful trust with the right legal aspects as well as with putting your heart into it. Is your trust not in fact an “act of love for your family”? Creating a trust for your family with the vision to carefully consider the consequences of present-day actions on your people who will live seven generations later. These families grow and preserve their seven qualitative capitals – spiritual, intellectual, vocational, financial, family, social and physical empowerment capital – it’s an equal focus on the mindset and human behavior skills to have a family standing equally on two pillars: investing in the long-term growth and empowerment of the human capital and the financial capital of the family.

The key for a highly effective and functioning trust for more than one generation, but rather for multiple generations is founded in the following: The trust has a deeply developed distributive function, grounded in aiding the beneficiary’s individuation, resilience and adaptability to meet life’s ups and downs and the capacity to bring his or her dreams to life. This is truly the antidote against the culture of dependence, entitlement, cynicism and addiction, addiction to alcohol and drugs, as well as addiction to trust distribution. Begin with the following mindset: Begin with the recipient and work back through the system towards developing a highly functioning distributive methodology. From this starting point, you can work back to the quality of the trust creator’s gift of love, seeking to enhance the life of the beneficiaries and thereby inspiring that function. In doing so, you greatly enhance the likelihood of the beneficiaries declaring the trust a blessing. In turn the beneficiaries who perceive his or her trust as a blessing will most likely want to assure that all family members with trusts are in similar positive positions now and for future generations.

For the purpose of the trust creator to transform his or her trust into a purposeful trust, the following are the crucial heartfelt reasons and questions to ask:

1.     Am I intending to make a gift of love and a gift that will enhance the beneficiaries lives?

2.     Am I seeking to make a transfer that solves my tax concerns that keeps the beneficiaries creditors from getting my money?

3.     Am I creating a memorial to my dreams, embodied in an enterprise that I consider my true child and over which I seek through this trust to perpetuate my control?

A good way to diagnose whether a trust was growing a positive and dynamic culture or is caught in the negative entropy of a static, suffocating structure, is to ask the following question: “Is the trust (guided by the trustee) making dynamic distributions that promote the beneficiary’s growth and individuation or is it making sterile, annuity-type payments that breed beneficiary dependence?” Will the trust enhance the lives of the beneficiaries and encourage meaningful, purposeful, fulfilled and inspired lives or will the trust do harm?

In seeking the mindset of a purposeful trust, one has to start with a beginner’s mind and ask different questions and adopt a different approach, maybe an approach never even considered.  Maybe the most important question to ask is the following: “How can we (the trust creators) help our children to flourish rather than create “trust fund babies?” The answer seems to be in adapting the mindset and approach of a purposeful trust.

 To read more about this, I highly recommend the latest publication of my friend and colleague, James Hughes with Hartley Goldstone and Keith Whitaker, namely “Family Trusts”.

To explore the mindset, you are welcome to book a 30-minute exploration conversation with the author of this article, Ilze Alberts, Wealth Psychologist, Mentor and Author. info@ilzealberts.com

 What does the proverb mean?

The proverb means:  The first generation has the big void, and is driven to create wealth, put their energy, their focus, their time and their inspiration on growing wealth for the family, and often create a family business as a consequence.

The second generation takes over the wealth, they inherit the wealth, they don’t really know anything about the wealth creation process, and they just focus on maintaining the wealth.

By the third generation it is all spend because the third generation is used to an affluent life style but not used to being productive to have an affluent life style.

In multi-generational family wealth this is often repeated, you see this over and over again.  A wealth void drives the first generation to dedicate them to build wealth.  They have the desire to give the best to their family and sometimes they confuse giving them everything with equipping them. The first generation can actually disable the second generation and make them dependent instead of productive and inspired.

 

What happens next is the following generation is created, where the family members are enabled and they don’t have a desire to grow or create wealth for the family and down goes the wealth. It’s not uncommon. This is important feedback to the family, because nature has a way of creating that, if a person doesn’t understand the principles of wealth building and sustain the meaning behind wealth building and the purpose of it, wealth will disappear.

Change your mindset, change your wealth

Twins drawing

It does not matter how much money you make. It matters what you do with the money you make. You either have the mindset of consumerism or you have the mindset of growing your money for a bigger reason and purpose.

Is your month longer than your money every single month? Do you battle to get ahead because your expenses are more than your income? Do you have the mindset of “I never have enough money” or “Money is the root of all evil”?

The way you think about and your attitude towards money determine your wealth and health. If your finances make you feel anxious, angry, hopeless, and depressed, you will suffer mentally and physically.

Wealth comes in many forms and it is present in your life. If you tell yourself “I don’t have enough money”, it means that your wealth does not lie in your finances; it is in other areas.

If you exercise regularly, follow a healthy diet, handle stress well, and get enough sleep, your wealth is in your health. Similarly, if your family is a high priority and you dedicate your life to building strong relationships with your spouse or partner, and your children your wealth is in your family. If your work or business comes first and you spend most of your time and energy on making a success thereof, your wealth is in your work.

But how does one create wealth in your finances, as well as in your health, family, career, or business?

THE “WHY”.

The knowledge is available to everyone with the desire to change. You can acquire the skills by asking yourself this important question: “Why do I want to have my wealth in my finances?” By listing the reasons, you will increase the importance of financial wealth in your priorities. These reasons should not only be to acquire and accumulate things, but also consider the value it will bring you to grow your money through saving and investing.

GET RID OF GUILT

Feeling shameful and guilty about not having grown your financial wealth is a negative mindset and counterproductive to being financially and physically healthy.

Get rid of self-condemnation and self-judgment and rather use the power of your mind to change your attitude towards and mindset about money. When you list your reasons for wanting to be financially wealthy, make sure you come up with enough “whys” or benefits and understand that up to this moment of insight, you have not had the awareness of how to change your financial destiny.

 

Change your mindset and behaviour from “I work so hard for my money” to “my money works so hard for me”. And watch how your wealth grows in your finances and how you have more money at the end of your month.

Your money is a reflection of yourself. Change yourself. Change your money. Change the world. Wealth counselling gives you the perspective shifts you need to make these changes. To start making a change today, call or email us to book +27 60 743 4143/info@bellavida.co.za

Begin it now

Twins drawing

There is one elementary truth,

the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence move too…

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

Begin it now. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A friend sent me this quote today. As serendipity would have it, it arrived just at the right moment. It made me realise that one of the biggest reasons I am not achieving my goals, fulfilling my plans, or reaching my dreams, is my fear of failure. It immobilises me completely and in the end, I do absolutely nothing.

The only way to get unstuck from this nothingness, is to act.

Remember, “the universe applauds action, not thought”. So, if an idea remains in your mind, it remains just that… a nice thought. If you do not act on this thought, you will never make it happen.

To counter being stuck in fear, I try my best to take at least one action step towards achieving my goals or dreams each day.

Every step I take is a test of whether I am truly committed to my dreams and whether I am attaching enough value, priority, and importance to achieving my goals.

I have always dreamed of writing a book that will impact people of multiple generations for multiple generations. In 2015, the year after I have sold my psychology centre called Bella Vida Centre, I took a major step and started writing my book, which was initially intended for my own family. After many months of writing and creating, I am ecstatic to say that it is now complete!

This week I am signing an agreement with the international publisher Wiley from New York, USA. They are to publish Passing the Torch: Transcending Family Wealth Beyond the Third Generation.

It involved perseverance, commitment, seeing the bigger picture, and of course taking action.

Are you ready to take a leap of faith, but you are stuck in fear?Are you beginning it now every single day?If you need help overcoming the obstacles in your mind, set up an appointment with me today.